I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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