Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize