thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
