It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
