Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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