no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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