It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
