I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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