Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish you could order shots online.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
