Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
