the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize