The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
