why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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