We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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