am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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