chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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