New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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