we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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