TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
