Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize