you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
