proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I want is dick and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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