Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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