Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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