I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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