I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
