you're like a bully in the Christmas story
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
