If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
