the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
