Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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