Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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