She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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