I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
