wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
