Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
