just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
