Sry I called you an 8
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's shark week go big or go home
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
