Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
