Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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