How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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