hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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