I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
