If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What drink are we having for lunch?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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