I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Randomize