he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My feet surprised me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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