Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
