it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
