apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
