And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
