Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
