it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
