good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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