You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
