mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
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I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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